I was just thinking, having read a bout of one-upmanship on one of the forums that I frequent. They were arguing over the semantics of the answers being posted to original question, and spending more time on that than actually answering the question. Like, they were becoming dogged about it.
And I thought about times when I get into conversations like that.
And I think, "You know what you could say to just cut that shit short?"
I crap bigger'n you.
See, there's no real retort to it. If they try to argue the point, you could just cut them short by asking them why a bowel movement is just so important to them that they have to prove anything. Otherwise, they'll probably either just drop the matter altogether, or ask you why it matters (to which the only response is, "If you don't know, I can't explain it to you."). At any rate, it gives you a chance to just turn on your heel.
It's the delivery that matters, of course. You have to state it, like it's an unyielding law of the universe, and that the utterance of such a thing disproves anything they could possibly offer up.
Plus, the stunned look they'd get would be priceless. I look forward to the day this is used during a presidential debate.